i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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