if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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