just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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