Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
where are my eyebrows?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
