i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
