It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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