A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
