Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
