You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize