You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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