My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
