Cold hands, warm shart.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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