I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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