What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
