I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
