I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize