no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The power of my boobs compel you
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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