On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
