absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
being pregnant is like rehab
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
