She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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