If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
