I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
