Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There's always time for handjobs
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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