is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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