Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize