she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
