so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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