I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
