There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
