He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You pole danced in your parka.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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