last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
