Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
