I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
