My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
