i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
