Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
