Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
