i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
