I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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