Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
