he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
