Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
