the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
