That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
