I faked an abortion last night.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
