He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
