I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
