It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
