last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize