I'm sorry my penis didn't work
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
