rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
then he tried to convert me to islam
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
