And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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