His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
