Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
