your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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