I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
