I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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