so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just pee around me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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